DC carnival is now an ADD ON to Baltimore carnival and it’s being held in July….sigh

http://www.nycaribbeanvibes.com/main/?p=2927

What really going on?

Sigh! I can’t keep up with the news and “goings on” today at all!…One minute I was thinking of some choice words to describe that skinny, trashy chick who got away with killing her baby girl. I also had a scathing story to finish about Vybez Cartel and his new bleached out (walking dead) look. By the time I sit down to put pen to paper something new ALWAYS distracts me. I can’t keep up! We’re coming down to the end of a whirlwind summer where the expected and the unexpected has collided into a rage of change, and occurrences that are quite uncanny.

School has started for many, nothing new there. Throw in a 5.8 earthquake on the EAST coast and all of sudden schools are closed, wireless phone networks are down, the paranoid are praying to Mother Earth, while the tree huggers start their usual tirade.  What a summer!!!!

Ok, what else? Ahh…Rihanna visits her homeland Barbados to take part in the Crop Over festivities. A cute story,,nothing alarming there, UNTIL Rihanna wokking up and skinning up gets captured on camera for the whole world to see. Rihanna’s my girl. Despite my previous postings I appreciate her talent. Boy do I love her now! Her busted up fishnet stockings on the road got a definite nod of approval. Can’t hate on a carnival sister who buss up stockings on the road look just as bad as yours normally do (despite her money, fame and fortune). You go Rihanna! Hope to see you at the crop next year.

Hmmm..what else? I’m not done with my juxtapositions of this very weird summer. Let’s see what else is in the headlines? I’ll give my other girl, Kimmy Khardy a skip this time. Let her enjoy her recent wedding, and 2 million dollar ring  while it lasts. I’ll pounce in about 2 months when the marriage ends. Moving on. Mention must be made of band launchings, carnival gossip that I so love, costume registration tom-foolery, and skimpier costumes when u didn’t think they could get any skimpier! Nothing new there! Except that I AM NOT going, no plane ticket yet, no costume in my name and it’s almost September! What a travesty! Fortunately, my good sense (when I’m not lying in a fetal position, sobbing, and feeling sorry for myself) tells me that missing Carnival 2012 is for the best. With planes breaking in half, pilots watching porn on laptops mid-flight, and the curfew in Trinidad perhaps it is best that I give carnival a skip. Yes! Read my lips ..er.. words..CURFEW in Trinidad! Shame and despair! Crime and killings are now being curbed by a 9pm to 5am curfew imposed by the Trinidad government.

I barely had time to sit and chew on that one because back on US soil we were being foretold, forewarned, (fore-panicked) that hurricane Irene is blustering about the Caribbean like a bedroom bully and is on her merry way to our shores. What REALLY going on? Where do you draw the line between staying calm and going into a complete state of panic. Time to pack a duffel bag of essentials to face the end of the world with a fistful of extra batteries and some canned goods? With everything that’s going on, I have to remind myself  that the only constant is change, and embracing change is what we are good at. We don’t really have a choice if another earthquake decides to hit. I hope it doesn’t. (I dont care who on the West coast laughing. That ‘ish’ was SCARY.)  I believe the random prophetic earthquake or hurricane only serves to keep us on our toes, there will always be crime and killings and not only in Trinidad! Things change sometimes, most things stay the same. Summer will morph into autumn, bills still have to be paid, kids and spouses will still drive you crazy, American Idol will still be on the air. Life moves on,,right?

The Poorans file for asylum..Trinidad not safe!

Sweet sweet TNT! Oh how I love up meh country!,,,well I’ve heard and seen it all.  Hear this one! The Poorans travelled from Trinidad to the US in 2000 and was asked to leave (deported) in 2006 when it was found that they overstayed their visit (was living illegal) in the US. Did the Poorans tuck tail between leg and humbly move back to Trini? Oh no no no,,,not the Poorans! Apparently a move back to Trini was not safe since the Poorans, (according to the Poorans), belonged to an ethnic group that is rampantly being targeted and victimized in Trinidad. The Poorans believe that their status of “rich Indians who USED to live in the US” will subject them to violent acts such as kidnapping in Trinidad. The Poorans appealed to the US Board of Immigration Appeals and a US Court that they should be allowed to remain in the states under the Convention Against Torture. Under this convention, asylum is granted if you belong to a protected class. The Poorans cited several incidents in Trinidad to demonstrate that rich Indians are not safe (talk about desperation), and went as far as stating that the crime situation had become so terrible in Trinidad that authorities had to enlist the US F.B.I.  The BIA turned that argument around on the Poorans, and concluded that they failed to demonstrate a well-founded fear of future persecution because ‘the Government IS attempting to fight the criminal activity’ by calling the FBI for assistance. Sorry Poorans (I like saying the word Pooran)…NICE TRY but come again…,they not buying it! According to the judges, although the country is beset by high levels of crime the Poorans will NOT get asylum to stay in the states. If you scared Poorans, build a big wall around your house and stick some broken bottles on top it like everybody else. We also have some VERY talented welders in Trinidad! Give them boys some metal and a blowtorch and they’ll conjure up exquisite window-covering art (burglar proofing) that will hopefully make you feel safe when they throw your A$$ on a Trinidad bound plane back HOME!…

http://www.newsday.co.tt/news/0,145152.html

Our scandal ridden beauty queen hits the Runway

Before you call me a hater…I didn’t pen her “the scandal ridden beauty queen”, I simply quoted from the Examiner.com article I read this morning. Yes, folks have done their research ..poor Anya Ayoung-Chee’s sex tape scandal has resurfaced now that she is a contender for the upcoming season nine of Project Runway. If you don’t know who Anya is, she won Miss Trinidad and Tobago Universe 2008 and went on to represent our lovely twin isle in the 2008 Miss Universe pageant.

She’s unfortunately more known for what happened after those happy times. Her celebrity boyfriend STOOOOOPIDLY sent in his laptop for service with a very, very, VERY salty video of Anya, another chick, and himself doing the nasty and then some embedded on it’s hard drive. The video was hacked and posted for the world to see. Anya took the hit in stride. I recall seeing her the year after in my carnival band with a big smile on her face ignoring the fools who pointed her out to each other whispering “look the girl from the sex tape.” Like I said, she get some serious points for continuing on with her life and not succumbing to shame.

Also to her credit, she sure did exhibit some skills in that video. Saying that she’s multi-talented is an understatement. Speaking of talent, I took a gander at some of her fashion designs. I believe she has a great chance of going far in the show although her skills with a piece of cloth don’t matter to me  none. It’s enough that she’s West Indian (yes I’m biased) and that she’s bringing some Caribbean flavor to Project Runway. The Examiner article did mention Anya’s other accomplishments such as her charity work. so good for them.

I plan to tune into every episode and cheer her on throughout. As for the sex tape scandal, my girl Kim Kardashian will be a celebrity judge on the show. Kim rose to fame with her own tape scandal. Any publicity is good publicity right? WRONG!, not everyone is a Kim or an Anya. This is for the fame and glory hounds, please don’t go making a rash of nasty video tapes in hopes of finding notoriety to promote wherever it is you trying to reach in life.  And please, wipe your hard drives before your business get put on the street. Whatever happen to the days of hiding your freaky tapes in the recesses of your closet in an old shoe box or under some old jeans never to be seen again? It’s even easier now to hide a flash drive or a SD card if you really want to store the memories…not saying I myself have any such items hidden anywhere in my house….I’m just saying….

http://www.examiner.com/project-runway-in-national/project-runway-designer-anya-ayoung-chee-is-scandal-ridden-former-beauty-queen#ixzz1SSx5Ec5y

Rihanna’s Man Down video

Yes I’m picking on Rihanna again. This time I think its justified. Her Man Down video leaves a watermelon sour candy taste in my mouth. The watermelon sour candy taste that’s edgy and makes you grimace, sweet sometimes, but the next moment you want to spit it out. Yep, it’s like that. I am a Rihanna fan. I watched the video, I read all the reviews and opinions I had time to read, (the good and the bad). I came to the conclusion that Rihanna not only missed the mark but she skidded herself right into a steam pie shitload of poor PR. Getting smacked around by that idiot Chris Brown does not warrant going to Jamaica to make a terrible video and make all the mommies of America paint you black. The Parent Television Council along with other advocacy groups have condemned the video and have urged Viacom (BET TV) to pull it off the air.

Let’s start with her pick of Jamaica for the backdrop. Flouncing around with poor, beach swimming, tree climbing, dreadlocked, barefoot island pickneys in a music video is so typically exaggerated. Riding a bicycle on a dirt road, man chopping coconut, kissing the village old woman “tanty” on her cheek, the bandana head-tied, drug selling, gun toting thugs, and the dancehall scene is also so exaggerated! Is that all Jamaica has to offer? And why she look so dirty in the video? Island living = looking dirty and not combing your hair? Again, what does any of this have to do with Chris Brown? Now, on to the controversy regarding the video, the message I got was; if I get raped, go get a gun and shoot the sucker dead cold, no questions asked. Oops, I can’t forgot the part about having the gun already stashed in my panty drawer to begin with. Nice message to pass to the young ones Rihanna! Parents have it hard enough in shielding kids from the evils of this world until they’re old enough to make smart decisions on their own. I’m not overly anal about censorship and parental controls, but I have seen how easy it is to influence the mind of a child. Turn on the “not as innocent as you thought” Disney Channel and you’ll see the non age appropriate garbage they’re teaching our kids. You have to be a “channel locking, over the shoulder computer screen peeping” paranoid parent to save the innocence of your young child. Your efforts are sometimes wasted once they walk out that door and head to school. In fact, I’m still trying to figure out who taught my 6 year old the stanky leg! Rihanna’s lyrics said she didn’t mean to hurt him, he’s somebody’s son, CHICA!, you put a bullet through his head in the middle of a train station full of people!  Promote violence much? Maybe a slant in the storyboard of the video to shoot him in self-defense while doing the act was a better idea? Come on Rihanna!

Rapture

 I turn on the news one day and find out that the world supposed to end. Obviously, I’m NOT as in tune to what’s going on as I thought. After all, I’m Nicky 360! I supposed to know LONG time about this Rapture business. This one took me by surprise. Lets dissect this one. If you superstitious like me, you would have spent a few moments taking stock of your life, your loved ones, your accomplishments, and more importantly, the things you have yet to accomplish. I have about 100 things on my bucket list. Getting rich and getting skinny (aka becoming Kim Khardashian) is at the top of my list! I’ve never been rich and I’ve never been skinny, and I only have Miss Kimmy K in mind because I’d like to maintain a fat ass ,,I wouldn’t want to get TOO skinny now. So, I clearly have some well intentioned goals in life. I’d certainly like to strive for all of them before dying in the blazing heat of the rapture. Thank goodness the day came and past, and I’m still alive to aspire for greatness. I am NOT ready to die.

Apparently we have one more Rapture episode to come. The entreprenuer in me feel like printing some Rapture T-shirts or throwing a Rapture party to capitalize on the madness. The crazy old man who put millions into his premonitions(and suckered a bunch of idiots into the doing the same) said he made a mistake. But don’t slouch people! The Rapture still coming! He just got the dates wrong. According to his calculations he buy us another 6 months. This time we’ll be prepared!

So, what about the moments leading up to the end of the world? Did you go about your normal routine and didn’t cast a single thought about dying? Did you go to work? Called up loved ones? I believe a lot of people went about their business as usual but not me!.  On the designated day I woke up with elaborate plans (I had to live up to my reputation of being a drama queen). I was going to  take a purge for cleansing and purification, hit the gym to sweat out some toxins, clean my house from top to bottom, refrain from shouting at my bad behaved kids, allow my husband some peace and quiet from my nagging, and in the moments leading up to the end, I was going to throw on some garden gloves and leisurely weed the front of my yard (so I could become one with nature at the end,,just for good measure!).  I felt so satisfied with myself  after making my list, I thought I deserved another hour of sleep. Sigh!…. HOURS later, I rolled over in bed,  shout at the kids for making noise in my head, told my husband that I didn’t feel like making his breakfast so don’t expect any (I won’t mention the other nasty remarks I made about him not being able to make his own damn breakfast).  I remembered my little list but said to hell with it! I was already having a rough start. If the Rapture was indeed coming I sure as heck was not going to be out in the yard pulling weeds. I did manage to get out my house though. An hour later found us at iHOP, pigging out on pancakes, eggs and an extra side of bacon (so much for cleansing). I had to laugh at myself..and my list! I got to laugh at that crazy prophet too. Maybe next time old man. Lesson learned…when all else fails and the world is about to end, there’s always iHOP!

Now What?

Obama’s approval rating is increasing every day.  He’s at an all time high with a 60 point approval rating. Now that he’s been cleared by a valid birth certificate (in your face Trump!)  to remain our President, can we hope for a successful Obama 2012 run? Obama did a bang up job (no pun intended) at ordering his operatives to put a bullet in Bin Laden’s head. Yay Obama! Despite his confusing Healthcare plan and his tendency to ride the fence on matters such as gay marriages, I think he deserves a second term. It took George Bush 8 years to mess things up, Obama deserves 8 years to turn things around. In the short-term however, lets pray for our safety in the face of possible reprisals from Osama mourners.

Osama’s death is huge news (currently running neck and neck with NeNe’s dramatic departure from Celebrity Apprentice, but that’s a whole ‘nother story!). I’m wondering just how vigilant we need to be in the face of terrorism?  I saw very disturbing footage of an 8 month old being patted down by a TSA officer at an airport security check point. A few airplanes were grounded recently for psychos/drunks (terrorists in disguise?) who tried to open Emergency Exit doors mid-flight. They are also debating if to put measures in place for a ‘NO RAIL TRAVEL’ list of potential miscreants who may target our train stations. We are living in an age where it makes sense to pack an armedddon survival backpack for that critical time when ‘ARM-A-NEED-TO-GED-THE-HELL-OUT-OF- DODGE!”  If you’re panicked enough to do so, don’t forget your batteries and some dental floss. McGyver will tell you, you can never have enough dental floss when you need to get out of a tricky situation.

Overall, I wish great things for this great country. I believe terrorism is here to stay but I hope the misfits are deterred. I hope the slimy Pakistan officials who hid Osama all these years get a bullet in the face too. I hope we continue the good fight and do our own little part to keep these shores safe! Yes WE CAN America!…speaking of which,,,I am slowly getting excited about the 2012 Presidential campaign. Obama is still the people’s choice, the champion of the poor, the bringer of Wall Street to the Main Street,,er ,,I mean Main Street to Wall Street,,whatever it is he used to say on the campaign trail back in 2008. I have a dream that one day I can afford groceries, elaborate vacations, GAS for my car ($80 to fill it up now), most importantly I want to have enough money to afford Maritza who used to clean “mi yard” because I’m sick of the stinking house work. Hell, Maritza needs love too! I can’t pay her anymore in this economy, you see the trickle effect?

So Now What? Election 2012! Let the games begin (and watch out for the terrorists).

Royal wedding fever!

Call me old-fashioned or just call me plain old, but I’ve lived long enough for some of the British influence on my Caribbean isle to rub off on me.

I can still remember the day the Queen paid us a visit in San Fernando, Trinidad. We dressed as neatly as we could in our school uniforms, bright red ribbons in our hair, and tiny British flags grasped in our hands as we lined the streets to wave and catch a glimpse of the Queen’s pasty face. The entire country was held in a fever pitched frenzy over the Queen’s visit which was second only in C-R-A-Z-I-N-E-S-S  to the visit from the Pope. (Although, I think we were more interested in seeing the famous oddly shaped ‘POPE MOBILE’ rather than the man himself…Trinis..smh!).

So anyhoo!…the Royal wedding is almost here…Friday April 29th. I am excited enough to bring out the tea and crumpets! Yep, my inner British is calling so I will be front and center in front the TV (my wedding invite must have gotten lost in the mail) to witness the event. This is a more modern wedding to the Diana/Charles wedding. Kate will NOT be wearing a 35 feet train flowing after her, her’s will be more like 10 feet (boo Kate!). I’m wondering if any of our Caribbean post-colonized or commonwealth nations plan to declare the day a public holiday (you know we ruthless at calling a holiday for everything.)

Congrats to Will and Kate! I hope he makes his mammy proud. Speaking of mammy, I have to remember to shed a dramatic tear for poor Diana to complete the effect. Is anyone else excited about the Royal wedding? I think it’ll broadcast LIVE about 4am. I have to check Matt Lauer and them channel to see what they have plan AND I have to set my alarm so I don’t miss it.Yes, it’s THAT serious!

Stop by my corner house…(in my best British accent) “would you like a spot of tea?” 🙂

The ‘Donald’ for president..really?

There’ve been many ‘firsts’ since Obama became the first black president of the USA. I saw a ridiculous article that pointed out the very significant fact that Obama was the first president to be photographed wearing flip flops. They forgave him for that. He wont be as easily forgiven if Donald Trump’s mission to uncover the lack of an ‘official Obama US Birth certificate’ is successful. Trump did quite well in a recent popular vote poll for the next GOP candidate. He’s very concerned that the country is going to hell and thinks he has what it takes to turn things around. Big spending and big government is one thing to complain about, I think deep down Trump is more concerned about Obama’s intent to end the Bush-era tax cuts for wealthy Americans. How dare Obama try to level the playing field? Elections are coming up. Obama’s re-election may be wishful thinking. I can ride the waves of having another good old boy like Bush in office. Trust me, the Republicans don’t plan to lose this time. What I wont stick around for is Trump in the Oval office. We held our breath for a minute about Palin, this time for sure I’ll ignore my mother (the queen of doom) and her embellished warnings about crime, and kidnappings in Trinidad, pack two barrels, and jump on a plane.

Myrie’s claim against bajan airport officials deserves a full investigation!

A  Jamaican woman was interrogated, detained overnight, and finger raped (allegedly) by airport officials in the Barbados airport. A delegation who visited the airport has determined that her story does warrant a full investigation. Apparently, while finger searching the woman, a female officer grumbled about Jamaican women visiting her country to either transport narcotics, or steal their bajan men.  My friends and I emailed back and forth on this one, and compared or recounted stories to support, or argue the premise that people get “rough up” in Barbados all the time.

Barbados is a lovely country to visit with plenty to offer. I can’t draw any conclusions about the bajan treatment of other Caribbean nationals. I had my own airport experience when I was refused an old cardboard box to hold some liquor I bought. You’d think I asked the woman for her first-born. I got a nasty look down the bridge of her nose and a smug “No” as her response. We debated for a few minutes (me trembling, about to cuss, liquor bottles slipping out my hand) but I was told (out of pure wickedness) over and over again that I couldn’t get a box!  I have bajan friends and in-laws that I love dearly (obviously NOT related to my rude, nasty woman in the airport or the finger raper). I can’t draw any conclusions about bajans in general, but I’ve gotten more than a few aloof (borderline hostile) looks from the female workers at the fast food joint near where we always stay. I didn’t get it but they were definitely drinking some haterade! Did I steal a bajan man from them? Was I being punished for my fellow countrymen who stole their flying fish (and their men) over the years? Was the aloofness/near coldness a natural, harmless cultural tendency? Just in case there’s any merit to the custom officer’s claim, please give plenty warning if you plan on stealing anybody bajan man. As for Myrie, her lawyers are all over this one and the officials seem to be backing them.